"Hurt people, hurt people."

This right here is a post I’ve been waiting to make for almost three years. The inner battles of anger, frustration, and endless questions have led me here, to my blog, in hopes that this is a safe space, and even if no one reads it this ones for me to look back and see how far I have come. (I’d like to preface this by first saying that if I were going to formally bash anyone personally I would have done that when this happened almost 3 years ago.) This incident that I speak of has changed our family dynamic forever and I have had almost 3 years to pray, reflect, and grow. So this isn’t out of anger but instead a hope toward forgiveness.

Here is my story, it has molded me , it has driven me and my business, and I feel its important to share. I’ve made a name for myself, I am beyond blessed with the best supporters and clients, but the latter made me truly question some of those things and it never should have.

So if you follow me just on a professional level and photography page you may not know much about my personal life. I share snapshot of my kids there but nothing too personal. I do have a personal page where I share more of me, my values, my rants, my target hauls, you know the drill. I’m working on a good balance of the two but for those that don’t know we recently moved to Denver, Colorado earlier this year as my husband continues to live out his NFL dream where he currently plays for the Denver Broncos. We were thrilled for a new team and a great opportunity. My husband even more so than any other team because this is actually his hometown, the place he grew up, and team he idolized. I on the other hand was not and I will tell you why below.

I will try to make this as SHORT as I can without leaving out any details. It was the spring of 2018 a literal year year from hell had passed. Michael had been released and signed to 5 different teams in one season, we had lost two angel babies, we hadn’t lived together most of the year as I had moved home with Kaimana (our son) because the back and forth and uncertainty was too much. We had gotten pregnant for the 3rd time in one calendar year, found out it was a girl, and planned a family trip to Hawaii. Things were looking up, until they weren’t. Michael was at a workout/tryout in Minnesota and flying home when the “incident’ occurred. He came home and I could see something wasn’t right.. he was quiet and visibly upset. He said there is something I need to show you. And there on his phone (and my phone now for forever proof) were texts from his two oldest brothers. A group text just the 3 brothers where they were speaking the most hateful vulgar things about me. All because he wouldn’t change his trip to Hawaii to go with them. A trip they had clearly planned without him but when he wouldn’t change it blame it on me.

Looking back its so childish of them to act this way but here are just a few things they said about me, AND I QUOTE because I have screenshot of every single one of these, (“first of all fuck your wife and her shit ass job”, “You don’t make a living on anything she makes,” “I’m not saying fuck you Michael but guarantee if your wife was here I’d say fuck you to her face and tell her how much of a CUNT she is”, “…Your wife is not a Purcell,” “fuck you Christina,” “You’re a self centered bitch” “We are saddened Michael has to put up with you and no one knows how he ended up with you”) just to name a few. Lets not forget either that I wasn’t even on this text thread they were saying this stuff about me to my husband. The hate expressed in these messages about me, about a woman, about their own brothers wife, was a kind of hate I have never witnessed let alone felt. It has affected a lot of the entire family dynamic no one ever stepped up to say anything, to apologize, nothing. And honestly I asked if I did something wrong if I offended them in some way, the fact that their wives or his sisters didn’t even say anything to them either is sad. If I EVER heard my brother or any man talk to a woman that way you bet there would be choice words.

And to further clarify the kind of people I am talking about here are just a FEW examples. They have NEVER in Michaels 7 years of the NFL come to a regular season game, they never reached out to us on the loss of our two babies OR the birth of our daughter Ke’ala (she’s 18 months old), since we have been in Denver they have never reached out to my husband to tell him congratulations on anything he’s accomplished or done here, so I’ll let you be the judge on their character.

Now that you have the back story my point to expressing and explaining all of this was first and foremost to reflect and come to terms with forgiveness. Its crazy for me to even say that because how would you forgive people like that? It has been a long journey for sure but I feel I am finally at a place of change. So maybe Denver was just what I needed. During my first bible study here with the fellow wives our leader talked about forgiveness and if you truly have forgiven someone you should be able look across from them and not argue. Now at the beginning of the season I wasn’t sure I was at that point. I don’t want an apology and I don’t want to argue but I don’t want it to bother me the way that it does. Its torn a family apart, such hate it is just extremely sad. Now I believe no family is perfect, let alone mine, we have had our journey too our struggles but I can say for a FACT they are kind people, they are welcoming people, they support each other they support us and my kids and I just can’t say the same thing here.

I came across a quote tonight that ultimately sparked me sitting down to actually write what I’ve been holding on to for so long. It read, “ Don’t take it personally, Hurt people, hurt people. Anyone who invests time in criticizing your life is not depositing very much into their own. Anyone who is judging you simply lacks self-acceptance. Anyone who values their integrity will never laugh at yours. You will never receive hateful feedback from someone holding deep love. When someone bullies you, its an invitation to hold space for the compassion they don’t know how to.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. This was my sign from god, my peace offering, the weight lifted off my shoulders that I needed to finally let this go. Now I may not ever forget what they did to me or the things they said. But I know damn well who I am, how I treat people, how successful my business is, and I will no longer let this affect me or my family.

So CHEERS to 2020! I’m so grateful for the real ones who have loved and supported us in our highest of highs and our lowest of lows. You are so special to us and I’m grateful for each one of you!